Shopping Local Marathon 2012

One of my very, very, very best friends came into town on Saturday for our Annual (this was technically the first year, but it was so fabulous, we feel confident in saying annual) Saturday-Before-Thanksgiving Local Shopping Marathon.

Sally and I met in college. She lived in the dorm room next to me our Freshmen year and the rest is history. She and the two other girls we lived with throughout college have been super close ever since. We have shared so many belly laughs and tears in the many years since that first year, it’s hard to remember my life before Sally.

Our friendship has seamlessly moved into this phase of “having children” and although we talk frequently throughout the week, these conversations are often cut short due to our children being, well, “children.” In fact just a few weeks ago, after hanging up abruptly, Sal called back to say: “Sorry I had to hang up so fast – Katie (her 2 year-old and my proud namesake) was opening the door of the car while I was on the highway.”

You get the idea.

We hardly ever get uninterrupted time just the two of us so we planned long ago to take a Saturday before Christmas without our husbands or kiddos. We mapped out our day with the intent of sticking with the many wonderful local stores here in Columbus. As expected, we had a blast and got some great, unique Christmas gifts and even a few things for ourselves.

If you are in the Columbus area, I encourage you to think about shopping local this Christmas. I love the Gap as much as the next girl, but shopping local is much more fun and it puts money right back into our economy. The receivers of your gifts will thank you.

Here’s the run down on the places we hit on Saturday:

We started off by taking a whirl through the Craftin Outlaws show at the Gateway Film Center. This ain’t your mama’s graft show.  There were no goose costumes or teddy bear figurines. Just super cool local artists. Sal and I both scored some great things here and met some great people. We’ll definitely be hitting this again next year. It was a great way to start out our day.

Then we hit a few of my favorites in the Short North. Bink Davies and my favorite Short North store to window shop and dream, Ladybird. I am still semi-regretting not buying the coat I looked at for like 20 minutes from Ladybird. I am hoping I might be able to snag it on sale after Thanksgiving.

Even though our tummies were rumbling and more than tempted by all the yummies in the Short North, we pressed on to a Dublin fav … The Morgan House. It’s kind of a Christmas must. Although I did see a goose costume there, it is so fun to walk through their endless rooms of Christmas fun. We got quite a few good stocking stuffers there and ate a delicious lunch.

Refueled and ready to go, we headed over the river to adorable Downtown Powell. I love all of the little antique stores in Powell. They are all very organized and their selections are great. My favorite is A Paris Flea Market. After antiquing it a bit, we made a quick stop into The Candle Lab and then ended the day at my favorite place in Columbus to buy children’s gift’s, Cute As a Button. I found some adorable things this trip for the girls. It never disappoints.

We had some pretty grand plans of making our day last into the night, but with Sally being 8-months pregnant and me being … well just tired, we called it an early night. Satisfied and chatted – out, the day was a success.

Till next year!

Oh and for those of you who don’t know what a Goose Costume is, here you go:

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On The Phone With Santa

The Christmas Crazies hit our house this week. This may seem strange considering we haven’t even crossed into November yet, but I’ve been on edge all week. I couldn’t figure out why until yesterday.

I was on the phone with Santa (yes you heard me correctly) talking details with him about our outreach events in December. The girls were coloring in the dining room quietly. A little too quietly. While on the phone I walked in to check on them and realized they had gotten out about 8 bottles of sugar sprinkles and were in the middle of a massive craft mess. Without even thinking I barked, “Do you know who I’m on the phone with?” They looked up at me. “I’m on the phone with Santa. That’s right … Santa!”

It’s not every day you get to say that.

Apparently it made quite an impact on them because when I returned a few minutes later the room was spotless and the girls were sitting quietly staring at each other.

Mission Accomplished? No. First of all, I’m pretty sure that Santa thinks I’m crazy now which is never a good thing. Second, this was not the first time I had acted ridiculously this week with the girls. They are kids. They make messes. They know better but so do I.

When you are in ministry, the Christmas season comes to visit you in about July and comes to a head the last week of October (if you are organized and good at planning). It hit me as I hung up the phone with Jolly Old St. Nick that what I had this week was a full-blown case of Christmas Crazies. Somewhere in the midst of print deadlines, proof reading, marketing planning and scheduling, I had kind of lost it and my children were baring the brunt of it.

I am reminded of this quote from Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Unglued“:

“I am more than the sum total of my feelings and perfectly capable of that little gift from Jesus called self-control.”

I really need to tape that to my mirror. And probably my dash-board, fridge and forehead.

It’s true. Despite what is going on around me, how many things are on my to-do list or how many things my kids have broken that day, the God of the universe is with me and I don’t have to lose it. I don’t have to come unglued. And I certainly don’t have to drag Santa into it.

As we head into the Holiday season, let’s resolve to make this our mantra. Let’ not let the Christmas Crazies catch us. Let’s enjoy our children and all of the fun that surrounds this time of year.

And only…and I mean only as a last resort, should we call Santa. I can get you his number if you need it.

 

 

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9 Things To Help Your Marriage Now! – Pt 3

Here are the final three of the 9 Things That Will Help Your Marriage Now.

You can read the first three HERE!

And the second three HERE!

7. We affirm each other publicly and privately. There’s nothing like hearing my husband was bragging on me to someone else. Husbands and wives want to know that their spouse is proud of them. What they do. What they’ve accomplished. The type of person that they are. Along those lines, Chad and I are both the type of people that desire honest and constructive feedback. There’s not a week that goes by that Chad doesn’t walk up to me after preaching a message to get my feedback. And I give it to him. Honestly and openly. But the tone in that moment must always be affirming. Even while pointing out some things that he could tweak to make it better, he needs my affirmation. He does the same for me.

8. We pray sneaky prayers. (This isn’t as weird as it sounds) I’m not the deepest sleeper. In fact, I normally wake up 2 or 3 times a night. This used to frustrate me to no end but several years ago, God really started to show me how much my husband needed me to pray for him. So, I started using those late night interruptions to do just that. Even if it’s just for several minutes each night. He has no idea I’m doing it, but I just quietly pray for him. Sometimes they are simple prayers, sometimes they are bold and crazy God’s-gonna-do-it prayers.  Rather than just laying there frustrated that he is sleeping like a bear in hibernation next to me and I’m wide awake, I make the most of my time and get some work done with God.

9. We just say no. I’ll never forget our first Christmas as a married couple. The thought had never occurred to me that I would no longer be waking up at my parents house on Christmas morning. When I mentioned this to Chad, I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. “Katie, we need to begin our own family traditions.” He was right, our lives had changed. It didn’t mean we didn’t see our families on the holidays, of course we did. But it meant that we had to start disciplining ourselves to ensure our family (and especially once we had kids) had the time and space to connect and be strong. This means that sometimes we have to say no. Even to our families. It means we don’t hop to 7 houses on Christmas Day and drag our kids to 6 Thanksgiving Dinners. It means our kids actually enjoy the holidays and aren’t beyond exhausted by the end of them. I’m thankful to Chad for making this a priority for our family. I never could have imagined the difference it would make and how good it would feel to just say no!

That’s a wrap. Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list. Marriage is much more than these 9 simple things, but perhaps you are at a place in your life, like I often find myself in, where you just need to start somewhere. Take some step forward. Start today. Start something simple toward making your marriage what you want it to be. I’d love to hear how it goes!

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9 Things To Help Your Marriage Now!

I am in the middle of reading pretty good book on marriage. It focuses on the motivations of men and women and how much tension and conflict is caused when we we don’t recognize what motivates us and our spouse. It’s good stuff … really good stuff. But for some reason, I am struggling to connect the dots. It’s not that I don’t think the advice that it is providing is good and that it’s not written from a perspective I agree with … it’s just that right now, we are in a phase of life where if we don’t focus on some super practicals, we just might lose it.

Let me explain. We are in the …

“I can’t find any clean socks – Dear!”
“Is that poop, I smell? Who pooped? Fess up! One of you girls definitely pooped.”
“Did you get that graphic to the printer by noon today? Crap! They needed it by NOON!”
“See you tonight at 6. For What? Morgan’s School Play. Crap! I didn’t know she had a play tonight. Really … because I’ve told you 20 times!”
“Is that peanut butter on the couch? Who smeared peanut butter on the couch!?”
“Ewww…what’s that in your cup holder? That is disgusting.”

Phase.

If the authors of the book I am reading saw our family in action, they would think we were nuts. And you know what? … They would be right. We are nuts. Our life is nuts right now. But here’s the kicker … most days I still really like my husband. 

Over the next couple days, I’m going to share some things that Chad and I have committed to in our life that keep us from going over the edge. These are really, ridiculously practical things and I think they are attainable for those of you who are in the “crazies” phase of life. They aren’t going to solve your deepest marital problems. But for us, they help ease the tension of life and get us to common ground.

Ready. Set. Go.

1. We go to bed at the same time. - This means when one of us is ready to go to bed, we both go. I know this seems weird but it honestly has made a world of difference in our marriage. Sometimes that 10 minutes before we nod off is all we have that day.

2. We send our kids away. A few years back I read a book by a prominent pastor in the U.S. that advised that couples in ministry needed to “go away” for at least one night every other month. I totally got where he was going with that but our careers, past and present, have allowed us to travel all over the U.S. and beyond. We have the Sky Miles to prove it. Most of the time we don’t need to get away. We need to STAY. This means about every other month (sometimes more), we pack our kids up and send them to Grandma’s. Not for one night but for two or three. This may seem strange but it allows us to really relax without the pressures and expense of travel. We veg. We order pizza. We go out to a new restaurant we haven’t tried before. We make breakfast together. We are together, just the two of us, to recharge and our kids have a blast. It’s a win – win.

3. We sit by each other on the couch. Again, kind of silly but can you imagine when you first started dating your husband or wife sitting on the opposite end of the couch as them? Heck no! You wanted to be as close to them as possible. It’s so strange that as our marriages progress, we lose that little excitement that comes from sitting next to the one you love on the couch. Now, I’m not going to tell you that you ever really get that feeling back. Because you don’t. But there’s really no reason to sit on opposite ends of the couch. We try to sit together or at least near one another as we are unwinding from our day. Sometimes we are reading or watching tv. But we are together.

Tomorrow, I’ll share three more things that work for us. Stay tuned!

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Bad, Bad Blogger

Well hello friends. I am clocking in for my monthly summer blog post. I’m not going to lie. I am consciously choosing summer over blogging. I have always loved summer and I loathe snow. I choose 105 degrees over 15 degrees all day long. It is summer that I love and I don’t care who knows it.

My blogs in the summer are sparse to non-existant. And you know what? It’s ok.

Maybe for you it’s not blogging but something else. Something you normally love doing but somehow in the summer you just can’t bring yourself to do. Let it be.

Summer is short. Enjoy it. Leave that dish in the sink. That bed unmade. That email unanswered.

Go outside. Play with your kids. Spend a record number of days at the pool.

Summer is short and this blog is already too long.

See you in the Fall. If you need me I’ll be at the pool

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The Mondays – I AM Week 5

What a great weekend. On Sunday, Rock City celebrated with a ton of people who took their next step in faith. Seeing person after person step into the water as a symbol of their transformation in Christ is something that never gets old. Each time we do it, I think “this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

On Sunday, Chad gave a great message on John 11: 25-26.

The context of the story is: two sisters want Jesus to come and heal their brother Lazarus. He’s a good friend of Jesus and they’re certain if he can just get there in time, their brother will be ok. He tells them not to worry and then he does nothing. Long story short … Lazarus dies. Understandably, the sisters are upset. Jesus finally shows up 4 days later acting like it’s no big deal. Many of you know the story ends well, however. Jesus tells (a very dead) Lazarus to get up out of his tomb and the guy walks out!

A couple of things Chad shared that really stuck with me as he was telling this story of Lazarus:

1. Sometimes God waits BECAUSE he loves us … not because he’s mad at us.

2. My preference and comfort will ALWAYS be trumped by His Glory. It’s not about me. It’s about him and what he wants to do in and through me. That means that ultimately, my comfort is not all that important to him.

3. Jesus wants us to trust him for who HE is, not for what he DOES. This is a big one for me. So often our faith meter goes up and down based on what God is or is not doing in our life in this moment. But Jesus says: I AM. And he wants us to believe in him based on that, not on something we’ve asked him to do.

Here’s a couple of adorable pics of one of the many people who got baptized this week. You can see her sweet son in the background video taping his mom’s baptism on her iPhone and then their sweet little kiss afterwards.  I’m so proud of this single mom for leading her son through her faith. It’s a beautiful thing.

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Over the River and Through The Woods

Last week we took a little time out with the girls. Chad is so good at leading our family in this way. He is the hardest worker I know, but he is also so intentional about taking time to recharge and make our girls and I feel like we have first place in his life.

His family has had a cabin in Pennsylvania for years. Now before you let your mind conjure up images of a charming and rustic paradise, please press pause. Maybe you caught the Ralph Lauren special on Oprah a few years back. It was one of my favorite episodes. He took her on a tour of his sprawling estate which included many, and I mean many, beautifully appointed cabins and even a fully functional tee-pee that even made Oprah jealous.

No, the little cabin in Pennsylvania is nothing like that. But it is clean, the girls love it there and even though the sheets aren’t 1500 thread count, being outdoors gives us a great nights sleep.

Over the years, we’ve had so many fun times there and this trip did not disappoint. The weather was gorgeous and we spent the better part of our short time there playing in the river and letting the girls get messy. And yes, for those of you who were wondering, Chad even wears a black v-neck t-shirt in the woods.

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Just Be There

Several weeks ago, Chad and I were traveling in Texas. In between meetings, we stepped out to grab a quick bite to eat. Since we were in Texas and since I could eat mexican food three meals a day, seven days a week, we popped into a local place that had a nice patio and a big menu. About halfway through the meal, a dad and two girls walked in and took a seat a few tables away from us.

Having been away from our girls for a few days, my heart ached a bit as I saw their sweet little legs climb into their seats. And I thought to myself: “How nice. This dad is having a little daddy/daughter time.” And then, I watched as something unexpected happened. Each girl dug, from their backpack, an iPad and headphones and the dad, himself, reached into his laptop case and pulled out a laptop. The girls put their headphones on and got busy watching a movie. The dad, in between ordering, got busy answering emails and working. I thought perhaps when their food came, they’d put them away, but to my surprise they didn’t. They just ate and watched.

Now, let me be the first to say that I did not judge this man. In a moment when I need peace and quiet, the iPad is my very, very, very best friend. But as I watched this dad and his girls, something in my heart sank. I wanted to scream across the patio: “You’re missing it! They’ll be gone soon, and all you’ll be left with is your laptop!”

But I couldn’t. I didn’t.

And then something else happened. I started racing through all of the times over the previous  weeks I had blown my girls off … popped in a movie to keep them quiet … stopped by McDonald’s so I could get some work done at the office while they ate … caved in and let them watch one more Wonder Pets so I could do the dishes.

Why is it so difficult at times to just BE with our kids? What on earth could be more important than listening to Morgan recount her day or Macy tell me about her stuffed monkey? And what on earth could that Dad have been working on that couldn’t wait until after dinner? What is wrong with us?

Fighting my inner urge to go have a heart to heart conversation with a stranger in the middle of a mexican restaurant, I talked Chad into doing something a little more sneaky. On the way out of the restaurant, we paid for the family’s dinner. Now you may be thinking: “Why on earth would you do that?” To be honest, I’m not really sure why we did it other than it felt like the right thing to do.

We asked the waiter to give the man a note. And on the note, we simply wrote. “Be there for your girls. They need you to be there.”

I pray that father feels God’s love and is able to recognize the role he plays in the lives of those sweet girls.

Selfishly, I am grateful I was there that day. It was a little wake up call for me. Here’s a pic of Macy and I at breakfast this morning. She needs me to be there. So, aside from taking this quick pic, my phone and iPad were in my purse and we had a delightful conversation about escalators and elevators.

Best hour of my week.

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The Morning After – Guest Blog

Thanks to my dear friend, Heather, for allowing me to share these beautiful thoughts of hers. I hope that they encourage your heart as they have encouraged mine.

You can read more about Heather, her faith and her beautiful family at heatherlconrad.com.

 

The Morning After…

It was one of those mornings.  The morning when you feel the effects.

The effects of a good night’s cry.

Often times I discount emotion.  Often times it’s unproductive. Not needed. Superfluous.

Other times, it’s simply a God-given release.  When words evade you.  When there are no answers to your questions.  When you grow weary.  When you simply have no other outlet.  God provides tears.

This is where I found myself last evening.  Be it the dreary, all-day rain, be it the change of plans, be it simply timing, I sat down with my best friend last night, and I said two words…

I’m struggling.

I can’t quite remember any other words uttered from my mouth after that point.  It wasn’t so much that I wanted/needed an answer, it was simply the freedom I’m learning that comes from recognizing my weakness, calling it out, and realizing that not only do I build a relationship with my husband, but I build on the relationship with my Lord, the One who delights in hearing my voice.

In all honesty, at times, I struggle with my place in this world.  I struggle with what I actually bring to this world, or, my value to the tribe, if you will.  I “feel” as though anyone could step in my shoes, take my place, and no one would skip a beat.  I “feel” this way, and at times, it trumps my head knowledge.  Satan has seen this struggle in me before.  He’s watch it render me helpless, and leave me paralyzed.  Therefore, he brings this back up time and time again.  Many times, I battle, I call him out on it.  I know that greater is the One in me than the one who is in the world.

But sometimes, I grow tired of battling.  I wonder.  I want to do more for my Lord.  But it’s not time.  Until then?  It’s the next thing.

Last night, I listened to the words of my earthly best friend.  He pointed out all the “little things” that mean so much to him, to our family, to others God has placed in my life.  He encouraged me.  He spoke words of value to me.

I have to admit, I discounted them.  “But those “things” are so simple.  Anyone could do them.  Listening to others?  That’s easy.”

He says, “No Heather, it’s not.  Not everyone listens.”

And therein lies some truth.  Everyone does have something that comes easy to them.  Something almost as natural as breathing.  Could this be the very thing that the Creator has so perfectly and uniquely crafted each one of us with?  In discounting, not believing, or even rejecting this gift, am I calling my Creator incompetent?

Yikes.

No gifts are small. No life insignificant. No child of God is ever replaceable.  No one is a mistake.

As I sang a song of worship this morning, I made a choice.  I will wait on the Lord.  I will do each of the “small” things.  I remove myself from the judgement seat of declaring “value”. I trust that He has not forgotten me.  I will believe that He loves me.  I will choose joy.  I will choose contentment.  I will choose gratitude.

After all He’s done, and for who He is, it’s the least I can do.

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I Was Not A Good Mom Today

Today, I was not a good mom. In fact, if I had to give myself a grade today, it would be a C-. The only reason my grade is not an F is because my children did not wander into the street or lock themselves in the freezer in the basement and I think that should count for something.

Today I was:

Impatient
Annoyed
Snippy
Too into work
No fun at all

It’s not that I started out the day and thought: “I’m going to do everything I can to make my kids miserable today.” In fact, here is what I wrote in my prayer journal this morning: “God, help my girls feel completely loved today. Let them never feel like they have second place.”

Ha! How ironic?! I think they actually came in 4th or 5th place today.

No, today did not go according to plan. But here’s the kicker. I’m rocking the girls tonight before bed and Morgan puts her little hand on my cheek and says: “Mommy, you are the best mommy.”

Thank you God, that when I lack, you shine. In 2 Corinthians 12: 9 God Says:

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Even on my snippiest and most miserable days … God is here … loving on my kids … letting them know that they have 1st place with Him.

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